Ask Blair: Friend Problems

Dear Blair,

My friend and I have been drifting apart, and whenever I try to talk to him, he won’t talk to me. What should I do?

  • unfriended

Dear Unfriended,

If he’s a really good friend and you really want keep your friendship, I suggest you confront him about it. However, I really think you should just let him go. It’s high school, friends don’t always stick together. You might think that’s a bad thing but just think of it as having room for more new friends. Instead, just focus on making new friends and the friends that have stuck with you so far. Those are the friends that really matter.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

Two of my best friends are fighting and they’re both making me take sides. I don’t want to be forced to pick because I’ve been their friends forever. We’ve been the 3 amigos since kindergarten. Now it all falling apart. I don’t want to pick sides but I’m afraid they’ll hate me both if I don’t pick a side.

  • stuck in the middle

Dear Stuck in the Middle,

This might sound a bit mean, but I think you just need to sit them both down together and explain how they’re both acting like children, bickering and not talking to each other. Explain to them that if they really wanted to be your friend, they wouldn’t make you pick a side. They can’t choose who you are and are not friends with. Bring back old memories of all of the three of you hanging out and explain that you all can go back and relive those times if they just apologized to each other.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

A really good friend of mine is leaving the school next year and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I definitely don’t want to be the person that makes her not take this opportunity. How can I show her that I’m happy for her but that I’m really going to miss her?

  • lone wolf

Dear Lone Wolf,

It’s really sweet that you are pushing her to take this opportunity, it already shows that you’re a good friend. I think what you can do is surprise her with some gifts that are priceless. Maybe make a collage of pictures of your favorite memories with her and write on the back of the picture why it was one of the favorite times you spent with her. Have a sleepover too maybe, just talk to her and explain how much you’re going to miss her. Once she leaves talk to her everyday to see how she’s doing. That will show her how much you care.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

My best friend is so in “love” with her boyfriend that she barely talks to me. We’re on good terms, it’s just that her world seems to revolve around him now. What should I do?

  • do not want to be the third wheel

Dear Do Not Want to be the Third Wheel,

Talk to her about it, tell her that it’s just high school and it’s not like the relationship is going to last. She might get mad and just ignore it though so I suggest leaving her alone. If she ever breaks up with her boyfriend, she’ll know that she’s made a mistake by making him the center of her life, because then she’ll know that she pushed you away and lost you as a friend. As for you, focus on friends that stick by you, those are the friends that will be with you in the long run.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

I haven’t been able to hang out with my friend because she’s been so busy with school. She’s been so busy that I haven’t even been able to hang out with her during nutrition and lunch. What should I do?

  • lonely

Dear Lonely,

It seems like there really isn’t much to do. Your friend just wants to do better in school so she’s just putting more time and effort into her work. Maybe you should join her so you guys can hang out. Reassure her that it’s always good to take a break from work when you’re working that hard.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

My parents don’t approve of who I hang out with. They think they’re a bad influence on me. What can I do to convince them otherwise?

  • held back

Dear Held Back,

I think you should be the one to evaluate who you hang out with. Your parents know what’s best for you and they just don’t want to see anybody drag you down and prevent you from reaching your goals. However, if you really strongly feel that your friends aren’t a bad influence, tell your parents about all of the good things they’ve done. Ask your parents if you can invite them over and show them they’re not dragging you down. It’s important that your parents don’t just see one side of your friends.

  • Blair

 

Dear Blair,

There’s this super annoying person that won’t stop bugging me. She thinks I’m her friend but I’m not. I’ve told her nicely I don’t want to hang out with her but she just bugs me even more. She’s not even doing it to be my friend, she’s doing it because she knows I hate it. How do I lay down the law on her?

  • annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

I think you need to sit her down and really explain how you feel. She obviously doesn’t have a clue about boundaries and personal space so you have to make her understand that she can’t just push herself onto you. Really talk to her about it, don’t just have a sentence conversation in the hallway. If you make it serious, maybe she’ll understand.

  • Blair

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